HAYDEN'S BIRTH STORY

I had such an easy pregnancy with Hayden- no morning sickness, not much fatigue, minimal weight gain, a little pelvic discomfort towards the end but nothing stressful. I was able to work and work out almost every day of my pregnancy (including the day I delivered) and was able to get decent sleep. After the struggles of trying to get pregnant, I was feeling incredibly grateful for the ease of pregnancy. Leading into the birth, we had hired a team of Doulas to be our support system during labor (The Birth Collective). We had watched a virtual few birthing classes and I had read about every possible thing I could trying to prepare for labor. The good news was, I was mentally prepared for an incredibly long and hard labor that came 40 weeks and 10 days late (they say most first time moms, especially with boys, arrive late).

I felt my first contraction at 37 weeks. Again, I was mentally prepared to be pregnant for another 5 weeks so I wrote this off as Braxton Hicks. As a first time mom, I had no idea what was normal or what a contraction actually feels like. Five days after that first contraction, on Saturday, March 20th, 2021 we start our day off like any other Saturday. We woke up and headed to a late morning workout with a few friends. I remember putting my Nike’s on and telling my husband in between interrupted breaths that Braxton Hicks contractions were no joke. After our workout, my husband was headed out to play golf with my brother for the afternoon. I was just wrapping up my final “to-do”s that week before starting my official maternity leave- and delivered my last wedding before baby (WHEW!) before grabbing a spot on the couch thinking some rest might slow down my Braxton Hicks contractions.

At one of our previous ultrasounds, the baby was head down but face up still. I had read online that spending time on all fours could help your baby spin to be face down (best position for delivery). I had also read that if the baby isn’t in a good position, it can actually cause a bit of Prodromal Labor (or early false labor where you still have real contractions but don’t progress into actual labor) So I self-diagnosed my current condition as prodromal labor and just needed to find a way to ignore these fake contractions. I turned on Pitch Perfect and crawled onto our living room floor where I watched that movie on my hands and knees. My first sign of alarm, should have been the dog. Riley had been keeping an incredibly sharp eye on me- not leaving my side and constantly locked in on me. Even as I crawled from the couch to the floor, so did she, curling up on the ground next to me while I breathed through the contractions.

Late afternoon, I got up to go to the bathroom. I’ll try to spare you most of the details here, but a dark red clot fell out of me about the size of grape. Slightly concerning so my doulas had me send them a photo of it. I also send this photo to my friend Erin, who’s a nurse in Portland. I wasn’t getting responses as fast as I wanted so I called Erin a few minutes later.

Me: “HEY! Do you have a minute?”

Erin: she was laughing “Yes”

Me: “Did you get my pic?”

Erin: still laughing “Yes”

Me: “So like, is that normal?”

Erin: “haha yes… where are you?”

Me: “I’m at home.”

Erin: “uh, where’s David?”

Me: “golfing”

Erin: “have you called your doctor?” a logical question I realize but she should feel incredible honored that she was my first call before my doctor haha.

Me: “no….should I?”

Erin: “haaa YES. You are like.. REALLY CLOSE to having a baby. You need to call David. He needs to come home. You need to call your doctor. And you need to go to the hospital. It’s happening like SOON”

I hung up with her and felt a bit of disbelief. I wasn’t in any sort of pain that I was expecting when I pictured being in labor. I honestly felt totally fine outside of the contractions (which I will admit now, where coming pretty quickly but I had made just an effort of ignoring them I don’t think I realized it) I shot my husband a casual text “what hole you on?” … too casual because I didn’t get a response for awhile. The blood kept coming, and my doulas decided I should just go get checked to be safe because they don’t typically see that until later stages of labor. One more text to my husband “you should come home maybe sooner than later”. This caught his attention, he called me and was on Hole 13 of his self-proclaimed best front 9 ever, and was headed home soon. He got home and asked if I was okay- I was. I was totally fine but felt like we should just go check and make sure everything is okay. He agreed, we gave our dog a bone and said we would be back.

I imagined the drive to the hospital for weeks leading up to this. In my head, I envisioned it to be incredibly uncomfortable- I thought I’d be in so much pain, yelling at my husband to drive faster but avoid the bumps. This was nothing like that- it was sunny out and quiet. We were so bummed that we were ‘those people showing up to the hospital only dilated to a 1 or a 2cm only to get turned away to go back home’ It had been our goal to not go to the hospital before a 5. We joked that at least this was a good test run and we would know where to park on the actual day. Walking into the hospital, I felt like I was headed in to visit someone rather than actually be admitted. We got put into a triage room, where I apologized to the nurse: ‘I’m sure it’s nothing, but I just wanted to get checked because there was some blood’. She assured me that this was normal and that she would have a doctor come check me. See- my doctor left for Hawaii 24 hours before this moment. FUN FACT: If your doctor goes out of town, you WILL deliver your baby.

In the triage room, my husband and I watched the monitor that was measuring contractions. It was like a video game. He would see it coming before I felt it, and his eyes would dart to mine when he read it on the screen. I would look at him and start to say “What?! Why are you——- AHHH” the contraction would come then pass just as quickly. We laughed about it every time. The doctor came in- I gave her the same apology speech. She reached up into my cervix, felt around for a bit- then quickly said “So, you’re a 9. And this baby is coming like now” WHAT!!! This is not what I was expecting. In that moment, time flipped into fast forward. We called our doula team and they were absolutely as shocked as I was- they told me not to sneeze and one of them would be there as soon as possible. The nurses tried to figure out which L&D doctor was on call and who could get here fastest. At this point, an epidural was out of the question but I figured I’d made it this far how bad can 1 more cm be? (yes, I laugh at this statement now too)

From the triage room, you have to move to a labor and delivery room. Still feeling fine, I chose to walk there with my husband instead of a wheel chair. We were laughing the whole way there about how surreal this moment was. We got to our room and the nursing staff said they couldn’t believe I was a 9 and still walking around laughing- they told me to do whatever I felt like I needed to do while they got some things set up. My husband and I again looked at each other and laughed- what are we SUPPOSED to be doing!? Luckily, my doula arrived shortly after and was all the guiding presence we needed. She said to just hang out, breathe, if I wanted to bounce a ball I could or I can be in whatever position felt the best. I turned on “Big Friends Big Bootie Mix” because that’s what powers me through my workouts, this was starting to feel similar.

A doctor showed up and asked if I was the one who was about to have a baby? I laughed and said “I guess so!?” He looked just as doubtful as I felt, but said he was going to go get dressed and would be back. He came back in a couple of contractions later and asked if I just wanted to get this show on the road- I said CHYEA! So he broke my water and the party really started. The next 3 contractions started to pick up a bit, I found an nice leaned over position to be my favorite. The nurse who was in and out of the room told me when I felt ‘the urge to poop’ - to hit the call button because it would be time to start pushing. 1 contraction later, I asked my team (husband + doula) to hit the call button haha. My doula luckily encouraged me to get through a few more contractions before we called. So, with Big Bootie on the speaker and a death grip on my husband’s bear paws, I road out 3 more contractions then we called the nurse in. YUP- it was time to push. I think we had around 7 contractions total after that (give or take) but it felt like an eternity. In that time, the room shifted- the sun had set outside, the lights went dark, a small tray pulled out next to the bed which we realized was for the baby (another moment of realness) then the doctor came in all suited up. WHOA- this is happening I thought. Those last contractions, I will not lie- were HARD. They hurt. I might have told my husband I can’t do this at point. I also overheard the song “Under Pressure” by Queen come on the playlist and asked if anyone else heard the song. They asked if I wanted to touch the baby’s head- GOOD LORD, NO. The doctor promised me one more push and the baby would be here- I was starting to question his trust. But just like that, the biggest feeling of relief I have ever felt in my life- baby Hayden was out and I was ready for a nap.

There is not a moment like the one when they hand you your baby (or put the baby on you in my case because my eyes were still closed and I wasn’t ready to come back to planet earth yet) But holding him and feeling his warmth- knowing how hard you just worked for this moment- it was ALL WORTH IT. At 2.5 weeks early, he weighed 6 lbs and 1 oz and was 19 inches long.